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紫霞仙客的博客

我和我的女儿 我和我的学生

 
 
 

日志

 
 

给欢欢 乐乐讲英文笑话  

2008-12-06 19:08:17|  分类: 我的文章 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

  下载LOFTER 我的照片书  |

       一天我妈给我打电话说母狗生下的俩小狗已经11天了,今天刚睁开了眼,让我下班回去看看!于是,一下班便直奔母亲家去!刚到我妈家门口,一位邻居对我说:"你妈家的小狗丢了!""是么?"我心理咯噔一下,赶紧进了家门;只听我妈正在埋怨我爸.原来,母狗跟着我爸去街口买东西,当我爸买完东西出店们时,发现母狗不见了!连忙去找,可找了半天也没有找到! 我只好安慰我妈道:"这也不能怨我爸,只恨小偷太可恨了!好在还有两只小狗在!" 我蹲下来去看小狗,只见俩小狗挤在一起,象老鼠一样小,浑身光秃秃的没有毛;可怜的小狗!自此,我妈便担当起喂养小狗的责任,每天都要半夜起来给小狗喂奶,比照顾婴儿还细心!就这样,现在小狗已经两个多月大了!起名为"欢欢" 乐乐".前几天,在我三姨的一再邀请下,母亲和父亲乘火车去了深圳三姨那里,照看小狗的任务便落在了姐姐身上!

给欢欢 乐乐讲英文笑话 - 紫霞仙客 - 紫霞仙客的博客

 姐姐在精心地照看两个多月大的"欢欢乐乐!"

 

给欢欢 乐乐讲英文笑话 - 紫霞仙客 - 紫霞仙客的博客

  今天我休息,去给欢欢乐乐拍了照,干脆接着给俩小家伙讲些英文笑话吧!反正什么语言对它俩说都一样!无所谓!

 

给欢欢 乐乐讲英文笑话 - 紫霞仙客 - 紫霞仙客的博客

Things go wrong when you oversleep

The day began when my daughter overslept, then realized she forgot to do her homework. As I drove her to school, I snapped, "I don't want to hear a peep out of you. "When we arrived, she asked, "Can I talk now?" "Okay," I grumbled. "I forgot my lunch."

给欢欢 乐乐讲英文笑话 - 紫霞仙客 - 紫霞仙客的博客

  Secret for a long Life

A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

  "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says.
  "What's your secret for a long, happy life?"

    "I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise."

  "Wow, that's amazing," says the woman. "How old are you?"    "Twenty-six."

给欢欢 乐乐讲英文笑话 - 紫霞仙客 - 紫霞仙客的博客

  wake up

A couple stopped talking to each other after a quarrel. However, the husband was worried about to catch up a meeting early next morning, so he wrote his wife a note:"Please wake me up at 7:00am." The next morning, he was upset to wake up at 8:00. Then he saw a note at his bedside:"Wake up you stupid! It's 7:20 now."

给欢欢 乐乐讲英文笑话 - 紫霞仙客 - 紫霞仙客的博客

    roast pig

A gentleman was invited for dinner. When he hurried there and sat down, he was happy to see a roast pig in front of his seat:"Not bad, I am next to the pig." But then he noticed the angry fat lady sitting next to him. He faked a smile and added: "Oh I am sorry, I meant the roasted one on the table."

给欢欢 乐乐讲英文笑话 - 紫霞仙客 - 紫霞仙客的博客

  Grandson

A well dressed young man demanded as soon as he entered the restaurant:
  "Serve me, quick! Give me your best. I don't care the price."
  Not like the way he talked, the waiter said to him: "Hey Buddy, it doesn't matter you have a lot of money. You are still son of somebody, and grandson of somebody else."
  The young man raged: "Dare you! Tell me, who wants me to be his grandson?"
  The waiter replied with ease:"Nobody. Just your grandfather."
 

给欢欢 乐乐讲英文笑话 - 紫霞仙客 - 紫霞仙客的博客

  A Careless Barber

Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in?

  Customer: No.

  Barber: Oh, then I must have cut your throat. 

给欢欢 乐乐讲英文笑话 - 紫霞仙客 - 紫霞仙客的博客

  Class, Lass and Ass

Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: "Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow."
A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the "c" in the word "class." The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the "c" erased--calmly walked up and erased the "l" in "lass", looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way. 
 

给欢欢 乐乐讲英文笑话 - 紫霞仙客 - 紫霞仙客的博客

  An Interesting Answer

 Teacher: Which is farther away---Australia or the moon?

Bobby: Australia.

Teacher: Why do you say that?

Bobby:We can see the moon, but we can't see Austral

给欢欢 乐乐讲英文笑话 - 紫霞仙客 - 紫霞仙客的博客

  Laziest man

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change.

  "I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you," he announced.

  "Will the laziest man please put his hand up." Nine hands went up.

  "Why didn't you put your hand up?" he asked the tenth man.

  "Too much trouble," came the reply.

 

给欢欢 乐乐讲英文笑话 - 紫霞仙客 - 紫霞仙客的博客

  A big head

 "All the kids make fun of me," the boy cried to his mother. "They say I have a big head."
  "Don't listen to them," his mother consoled. "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes."
"Where's the shopping bag?"
"I haven't got one - use you hat."

给欢欢 乐乐讲英文笑话 - 紫霞仙客 - 紫霞仙客的博客

  True blonde

A young brunette (浅黑肤色女人)goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?" She says, "No, I'm really a blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

给欢欢 乐乐讲英文笑话 - 紫霞仙客 - 紫霞仙客的博客

  When do people talk least?

Student A: When do people talk least?
  Student B: In February.
  Student A: Why?
  Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.

给欢欢 乐乐讲英文笑话 - 紫霞仙客 - 紫霞仙客的博客

刚开始小狗还瞪着眼睛听,可听着听着它俩就进入了梦乡!

 

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